Birth Story: What is in a Name?

Some people give their babies the strangest names.

I am quite sensitive to it, because I myself have a name that is so unusual, I only have to write it down and everyone knows who that person is. Google my name and you get all information related - mostly -  to me.   I have had stalkers find what hospital I work at and the unit I work in because of that.   It can be a liability. 

Never mind, no one ever gets the spelling right.  Imagine having to go through life  having to spell it constantly.  I have yet to see anyone get it right the first time.  Even when I spell it out s-l-o-w-l-y, for some reason people still don't want to write it down it correctly.

For some reason I still have to tell them, "no - there isn't a space there and it is spelled with a "XXX" as in "XXXXXX" - and they STILL don't get it right.   I usually give up at that point and let them write it the way they like.  On the other hand, when people hear my name, they often tell me it's a pretty name. (Although not so pretty that anyone wanted to name their baby by MY name - except ONE!)

 My father, on the other hand,  is lucky. Same last name as myself,  but he just happens to have the same name of a notorious celebrity and if you type in his name in Google - any information about him is lost in the plethora of celebrity gossip.  I am envious.

I have also been envious of my brothers and sisters and friends who ALL could buy that mug or pen or whatever sweet item off the shelf that has their name printed on it - as stock - without having to special order and then wait 6-8 weeks only to find the company decided I didn't spell my name right and took the liberty to correct it for me! Arrrrgghhh!

I think I have somewhere already told the story about a young Chinese couple - new immigrants - who were going to name their baby Petunia - (or some other flower - I can't quite remember the exact name)....and I had to intervene on the baby's behalf and explain that it was not a suitable name for their baby. Explain to them that the name they had chosen was a girl's name - not a boy's name - and they might wish to rethink it, for their baby boy's sake.   Having immigrant grandparents with the difficulty of language comprehension definitely gave me sympathy for those  I looked after that were in the same boat.

I was working in the USA in a brand new (to me) hospital - night shift - and some of the nurses in L&D were talking about strange names.    I chimed in - "Ya.....I remember one gal who named her baby Melena....." [with drama]

Big Pause.

 *crickets* 

 The nurses all looked blankly at me.   It clearly didn't register with them.   Deeply offended, one of the nurses said "What do you mean??? That's my daughter's name!! What's wrong with it?"

Not exactly how to win friends and influence people - especially when one is the "new" nurse on the block.

But one thing that would really get me going were the mothers who had separated  from their first husband but didn't change their former married name for whatever reason - and would come in with their new partner and baby-daddy of the new little one.   I am pretty sure no forethought was given at all to the possible complications. 

The policy of most hospitals, in order not to have any baby switching or medical errors, is to put the legal name of the mother on the baby's bands as well as the new father's band.   All the paperwork has to match up to ensure that the proper baby stays with the proper mother.....and that if the baby is wheeled in the cot down the hallway with the parent other than the mother  and  a security check was necessary - we would have a way of ensuring the baby wasn't being snatched.

After all, there had been a baby-stealing incident in the city recently.  No hospital wanted that liability.

I can't tell you how many irate baby-daddies demanded the name of the ex be removed from their baby.  It was difficult to explain to them that legally - and for their baby's safety - this is the way it had to be done.

I suppose a home delivery would avoid this problem......  wouldn't it?