The "Midwife Doc"

When I moved back to Canada from the USA - it was a bit of an adjustment to what you can and can't get off the shelves at the drugstore.

I remember in the early 80s, telling the MD I saw in Hawaii on vacation, that I would just go to the drugstore to buy the benadryl for my swollen eye  - and he looked at me like I just told him I was a drug abuser. 

"You can't get that off the shelf - you need a prescription for it" he told me. 

That was news to me - in Canada, at that time, you could just get it off the shelf, just as you could the ibuprofen.

Same with codeine. You can still buy acetaminophen with 8 mg of codeine over the counter without an Rx.  Mersyndol is one of my favorites.....it has an antihistamine in it as well as the codeine. Expensive at $23 a bottle of 100's but a very good medication for migraines.

So,skipping back to the move home to Canada:

 I was in the local pharmacy, and after waiting the 2 or 3 persons ahead of me in the lineup to speak to the pharmacist - I asked the ill-fated question:

"Where on the shelves do you put the Monistat?" - not realizing that it wasn't available except by Rx in Canada at that time. 

I had spent a good half hour looking down every aisle for that life-saving medication.

Loud enough so the entire drugstore could hear, he announced:  

"Dear - you need a doctor to prescribe you Monistat - it's NOT an OTC..."

I was humiliated.  I started to back away, embarrassed to the point of wanting to run.

 Then - He stepped forward.

"Hi" He said. " Would you like me to write you a prescription?" 

I looked over at the kindly face and recognized him instantly as one of the docs that occasionally came to do deliveries and must have recognized me from the Labor Delivery unit.  He had been in the lineup behind me, and -  along with the rest of the crowd - overheard the conversation with the Pharmacist.

"Uh. Oh sure! Thanks so much! " I was relieved and mortified at the same time.

Later, back on the Labor Delivery unit at work,  I asked him if he was taking on new patients. 

"Certainly - for a colleague " he replied.

And so our relationship began.

He was the best MD.  You couldn't ask for a kinder and thoughtful MD.  He was soft-spoken and meticulous in his practice.  AND - his deliveries were always so quiet and relaxed. 

We called him "the Midwife Doc" because the deliveries he attended were so lovely.

I can still picture him sitting on the lowered foot of the bed as he was getting ready for the delivery of a baby on our L&D unit.  The lights in the room were off - except for the soft glow of a portable lamp next to his elbow.  

There was a warm quiet  in the room.  He spoke softly and encouragingly to the woman as she pushed in her own style -  lying on her side on the unbroken bed, husband next to mom, holding her leg during the little pushes.   Midwife Doc patiently waited, supporting the perineum as the baby's head slowly pushed it's way through - crowning ever so slowly. 

Each 5 minute interval Doppler tone had a reassuring - *dop*dop*dop* - as we encouraged the mom. 

No loud noises. 

No counting. 

Just mom and quiet words........

He never panicked. He didn't see the need for an episiotomy.   He looked up me and then over at mom and said casually, "Well, nurse, how is everyone doing?"  Twinkle in his eye.

I looked at the mom - face glowing with sweat, but a serene smile on her face.

"Perfect.  Just perfect" I replied.

In the next few minutes,  the baby easily slid out.....






A month later - it only took one little mistake to change everything.

On the way home from attending a delivery, Midwife Doc was talking on his cell phone as he drove along one of the little town's streets.

He didn't see his red light at the intersection. 

His sturdy car was T-boned, and he was thrown half a block away, through the side window and out of his car - unconscious.

As talk in the town would have it - his GCS scoring on arrival in ER was the lowest it could be.  There wasn't a person in the entire hospital that didn't feel sick about the accident.   

He had little kids - and in fact, I still had the thank-you note from when I had attended at the delivery of his baby that same year.

People that had never prayed before, prayed fervently for this kind doctor. 

Miraculously he did recover, but unfortunately, never to the point where he could go back to his practice. 

I saw him in passing in the community several times.   There was a blank look in his eyes.  Not even a little sparkle.  No recognition of me, or anyone else.  Still the same kind face - but no longer the man I knew.

You could tell he was trying to remember, but he just couldn't quite get there.

His entire life - as he and his family knew it - was destroyed. 

He no longer had a means of employment. 

He was alive, yes.  He still recognised his children and wife....but he no longer had the same joy and was no longer able to follow conversations or remember ..... and definitely all knowledge of his medical training had disappeared.

This tragedy happened at the time when cell phones were just emerging,  and no thought or concern was given to talking on a cell while driving.  It was just the beginning of many such accidents to come in the community and the country.
  

Although there are some people who are in opposition to it and say the statistics don't prove cause and effect - my hope is for every state and every province to make talking/texting while driving illegal.  

All I know is - if that someone I knew hadn't been distracted by a cell phone - there would have been one darn good MD still practicing.

What are we teaching our children?

Vanishing Twin Syndrome - Surprise in the Delivery Room

Just before I carry on with my Real Life Accidental Nurse stories, I want to insert a little story in honor of two of my favorite cousins who's birthday it is. 

Twins run in our family. My Midwife Grandmother had twins - my aunt and uncle.  My aunt had 2 sets of twins - a set of boys and then less than two years later, a set of girls.   One of those girls had a set of twins - a boy and a girl.   Another Aunt also had a set of twins - boy and a girl. 

Twins have yet to skip a generation in our family.  My mother wished so hard for twins - she dressed us all alike.  I have often been asked if the fear of having twins was why I never had children. (it's not)

So as I was wishing both of my cousins a Happy Belly Button day....it got me thinking about the interesting Birth story -  an amazing couple I looked after in L&D so long ago.  

Here is that story.

Weird Nurse Ads

I can't believe this advertisement for an RN to work in a Cosmetic Surgery Clinic.

Take a look at this ad posting - I have added the link below the photo  - as it appears, no disrespect intended :




Cosmetic Surgery Nurse Required



Cosmetic Surgery Nurse required for Dublin.
A Cosmetic Surgery Clinic in Dublin City Centre is seeking a Cosmetic Surgery Nurse to join it’s team.
This is a fantastic opportunity and is a permanent Nurse job.
Requirements:
Must be an RGN with 2 years experience (minimum) with experience in phlebotomy
Experience in the cosmetic industry required
Must exhibit excellent communication skills
Must be available for city centre location
Commercial or Sales experience a strong advantage

Good computer skills

Attention to detail
Must be reliable and driven
Strong patient focus with an interest in the cosmetic industry.

I am not sure that THAT ad would really make me want to work at that particular clinic (or be a patient for that matter!). And, definitely, I can see why the nurse would have to have good sales experience if that is the photo they have on display as an example of their work.  You would also need attention to detail as listed - because the docs certainly don't seem to have any - if you go by the example above.  The clinic is in Dublin, Ireland.

Speaking of Dublin and Michael Jackson.....

 When I was  about to move back up to Canada (early 1990s) I remember visiting a little hole-in-the-wall second hand store in a shopping plaza in Dublin, California.   It had a mish-mash of various items for sale including antiques,  and one group of items caught my eye.

It was a small portion of the estate of Sammy Davis Jr.   Memorabilia framed and otherwise, little knick-knacks that used to belong to that late great singer, given to him by other stars.   I checked it all out and some of it was pretty interesting.  The store had the small block of goods for sale: all for $5,000.   The most interesting item?  A Michael Jackson sparkly glove with a signed "Thank-you" from Michael Jackson - framed in a shadow box.

I did contemplate on purchasing the lot at that time.  I thought that was a pretty cheap price for all of the framed signed photos from various artists of the time plus other items of interest. 

I bought a 1981 Mercedes convertible instead.

Looking back, the return for money spent would have been better had I spent the $5K on the memorabilia, looking at what Michael Jackson's one glove went for recently.  $190K!  and another one - the original moon walk glove - for $350K!


By the way, I bought my husband a 1983 Mercedes convertible for his birthday this year.  Price?
$5K.

Hindsight is 100%

Found After writing this note:

Interestingly enough, I found this article online in regards to Sammy Davis Jr's estate which was seized in 1992 by the IRS.  It was in the East Bay area, so it makes sense that the glove and some of the other memorabilia would be found in a store in Dublin CA which is in East Bay - round about the same time....circa 1993.  This glove was offered and sold on Ebay for $388K.... Here is the link. I don't believe it is the exact same glove because the one I saw was in a shadow box type frame.  Because there were a lot of framed signed photos of Sammy Davis Jr with other stars with documentation, I believe it was authentic...since this was something that apparently he did - hanging framed photos of himself and friends around him in his dressing room.

On the other hand, there are lots of fakes out there. And a lot of real ones. If nothing else, it makes for a good story! :)

Excerpt of Caption on the Glove when Posted on Ebay (in case the above link is broken):

"This white glove with crystals formerly belonging to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee came from the Bonnie Doone Estate in Palomares Canyon, California, in the San Francisco Bay area. There are traces of pancake make-up in the glove. The crystals are faceted like diamonds. The Victorian farm house built in 1870 is pictured below and was in my family for years. When I sold it in 1995, I took the glove with me to Challis, Idaho.
We purchased this glove from the estate of Grammy and Emmy award winning performer Sammy Davis, Jr. at an IRS seizure auction in 1992. The Glove was in one of Sammy’s Louis Vuitton trunks which we purchased at the auction. The article from the Contra Costa Times discusses these trunks and the broad spectrum of items enclosed within. Michael personally presented one of his trademark gloves to Sammy on stage at a tribute to Sammy Davis, Jr. We believe this occurred in the early eighties. If anyone has more information, we would appreciate it. The photograph, which was also from the estate, goes with the glove. Sammy always decorated his dressing rooms with photos of family and friends, many of which he took himself.
We will be selling many personal Sammy Davis, Jr. items on eBay over the next few months. Included in his estate were platinum and gold records, crystal trophies, awards, plaques, personal photos, and stage costumes. There will be enough to put together a museum.
Look at the other auctions for antique, vintage treasures from the estate. I will be selling more every month, such as oil paintings by California and European artists, original works by Pablo Picasso with provenance, cast iron and copper kitchen accessories, molds, weathervane, whirlygig, folk art, and much, much more. Unfortunately, the vintage Rolls Royce limousine in the photo has already been sold. "

By the way. I am STILL accepting  names for the FREE BOOK.  Let me know if you would like this book to give to someone!!!  (yes I can have it sent to you  so you can gift it to whomever you wish!)

Last chance is September 30.  Just click on the book in the RIGHT COLUMN. YOU HAVE 4 DAYS LEFT!!!

DISASTER - DISASTER - DISASTER

Funny that when I moved to California (East Bay to be exact) - I would experience 3 seperate disasters.  Everything comes in THREES.  But I had no idea that meant absolutely EVERYTHING.

I have just reposted my old entries from June 2, June 15 and June 16 which I retell the stories of the 3 Natural Disasters I lived through while living in "The Golden State".  Not so golden for me.   But ONE thing it did for me was give me the training for Labor and Delivery..... and for that I am very thankful.

If you would like to re-read these revamped, relaundered and renewed posts.....or if you have never read them before - WELCOME - just follow these three links:

CALIFORNIA FREEZING

THE FIRESTORM

THE BIG ONE: EARTHQUAKE!



By the way. I am STILL accepting  names for the FREE BOOK.  Let me know if you would like this book to give to someone!!!  (yes I can have it sent to you  so you can gift it to whomever you wish!)
Last chance is September 30.  Just click on the book in the RIGHT COLUMN.

Thanks for stopping by! :)

OMG: I have been a nurse in 5 decades!

Holy cow.  Or as my uncle (may he rest in peace) -  always said "Holy Mackerel!"

I can't believe that!  When did I get this old?  Where did the time go? WTFlip????

It was just yesterday that the first blush of nursing took hold of me.....and I was afraid of killing patients.  Now I just want to get through the day without killing myself.   Funny how the old body just decides to turn on me.  I used to run relays and was the Interior Provincial Javelin throwing champion. I hiked up mountains, biked where I wanted to go and walked miles and miles.....

It could be worse. At least I have all my faculties about me.  The neurons are synapsing in an orderly fashion - for me, anyway.

I was just having this convo with my Nurse Cousin from Texas.....

When I was a young thing, I used to wonder how the old people I looked after couldn't see all those hairs growing off their nose or out their nostrils or ears,  the extra huge eyebrows that were never plucked and wondered how they didn't know there were growths coming out of their face......you know, all that grooming that needs to be kept up with.....

And now, with the help of my 25X mirror.....I *know* why......

They couldn't see anything up close.  Glasses can only do so much.  When it comes right down to it....ya really need a 25X mirror to see everything .....

And..... Holy Mackerel.  FIVE DECADES...............

Where's that glass of wine.......???????

YEARS of NURSING...

I was going through some old drawers and boxes today....and found this stack of date books.

They basically represents my career as an RN. I think I am only missing one year...and that is because it was on an *actual* BIG calendar, as opposed to a diary-book calendar. Count them. 19. Most are 2 year calendars and some are one year calendars.

I can thumb through them and see where I was on whatever day for the last 30 years. Amazing isn't it?

That all those years boil down to 19 books. Oh. And that doesn't include this years book. That is 5 decades! =^@

What it doesn't show is all those years of caring for people...hours spent worrying about their well being - miles of running up and down hallways, countless medications given out, numerous IV's hung, over 6,000 babies delivered, a billion MD orders - well - everything an RN does in a day. Or a night.

Some years were better than others. Some were washes. But I can say, I did learn a lot and did a lot in all those years. Geriatrics, Rehab, Medical, Surgical, Store Nurse, L&D, Gyne, Nursery, Psychiatry, Telemetry, Camp RN, Travel Nursing, Prison Nursing, Triage RN,Float RN, Board of director for Non-profit Seniors Assisted Living... all that packed into 19 little date books. Or 30 some odd years- whichever way you want to look at it.

I don't know why I keep them. Maybe because they are like a diary of what the biggest part of my life was....or is. I probably spent more Christmases and more holidays and more birthdays and more special times with colleagues and patients than with my own family. There are little notes here and there of things I did....travelling backpacking in Europe. Twice. A dozen or so odd trips to Hawaii. More than that to Mexico. More moves than I can count - approximately Seventeen? - within 2 different countries, with 7 homes purchased and 7 Canadian and 5 American hospitals worked in.

I Lost count long ago - of the boyfriends I dated and the friends I left behind and the roommates that moved on. But even though they are a record of the past....it's the present that means more to me.

So - was it all worth it? I think so. Although I had my misgivings many times over the years, what I chose as a career (although I didn't really ever consider it a career since it was supposed to only be temporary) made me who I am today - and I quite like where I am at the moment.

But given the opportunity to leave it for good - would I? You bet. But, for now, it is difficult to let go of what has been a major part of one's life.

And so I hang on to that dusty little pile of elastic-bound date books. And every once in a while.....I flip through them and smile........

Firestorm and L&D

Are you bored with what you are doing? Is your job getting slightly stale? Your options as an RN are endless. Don't ever let the fear of change prevent you from going elsewhere or making a switch in your career. After all, life is an adventure!

I was living in California, working on a Med/Surg floor when a posting went up inviting any internal applicants for the new Labor and Delivery nursing course offered by the hospital. To this day, I have no clue why I applied. L&D was never something I wanted to do - and was in fact, absolutely the LAST place I wanted to work.

Maybe I wanted a change. Maybe I wanted to learn something new. *Maybe* I just wanted to remove myself from the unit where I kept bumping into the cute Pharmacy Tech that was now courting another nurse. (by the way - that nurse also ended up taking the L&D course - but - the tech turned out to be an alcoholic so - narrow escape!) Whatever it was that compelled me to sign up.......I am so thankful I did. Truly, it turned out to be the one area of nursing that I really enjoyed, if I was to enjoy nursing at all.

I was lucky enough to be taken under the wing of the most wonderful preceptor. She was a little intimidating at first - she had that abrupt/stern style - but Matilda really knew her stuff, and I appreciated that. A very serious type nurse - closer to retirement age - Matilda had more energy than most nurses 40 years her junior. I really don't know how she did it.

Mentoring was definitely her forte.When I found out I was assigned to her, some of the other nurses offered their condolences. She was one of a kind, but I wouldn't have traded places with any of the others. I looked at it from the point of view that - no matter her style - I was going to learn something. I suppose if I weren't so eager to learn, it might have been quite a different experience. But, she recognized that I was enthusiastic, saw that I worked with the same zeal she had, and as a result - took me under her wing.

I also was lucky in that the nurses on that particular L&D were a great bunch. They were fun, easy to get to know and a wonderful cohesive group to work with. They were accepting of anyone new, and went out of their way to make all of us feel part of the team. I really can't think of anyone that didn't get along or didn't have the other's back. There were no dayshift/nightshift drama. Initially, the plan was to make California my home for only a year, but due to the switch in specialties, I ended up staying almost five, simply because of the choice in the direction of my career.


Such was the setting when the next disaster hit the Bay Area.

Two years after the earthquake - almost to the day - the Oakland-Berkley fire struck. Last year's remnants of the Great Freeze contributed to the fuel for the fire. One of our own nurses barely escaped with her life. Stacy's apartment building was one of the first to go. The firestorm,  hot enough to boil asphalt on the freeway, jumped all barriers. The meandering switchback streets in the hills over the Caldecott tunnel proved to be a death trap for those in the hundreds of vehicles trying to make their escape, lines of cars single-filing slowly down the hillside on narrow roads, fires quickly engulfing them. People ran for their lives, abandoning vehicles which blocked the passage of emergency vehicles attempting to get up to the fire.

In the first hour, every 11 seconds a house would ignite.

If it hadn't been for the basket of dirty laundry my co-worker had put into her car after her night shift, she would not have saved any personal items. Stacy's boyfriend had secreted her engagement ring in their fireproof safe. The proposal was to be a surprise the following week. The fire, estimated at 2000 degrees F, vaporized the safe and everything in it. Lucky for them, they had just bought insurance on everything the day before. My co-worker only found out about the ring and planned proposal when her boyfriend had to admit to it's existence on the insurance claim form.

She was luckier than some. Twenty five people perished in the fire, mostly in the traffic jams slowly snaking down from the hillside while making their escape. One hundred and fifty people were injured. Three thousand three hundred and fifty four structures burned to the ground including several apartment buildings.

If the "Diablo"winds hadn't died down when they did, the fire would have been much worse. As it was, it only covered a couple square miles. From my house, one could see the blood red sun through the billowing smoke which created a haze in the darkening sky. We all feared the fire was minutes from jumping over the hill to our community.

I remember driving through those streets several weeks later. It looked like a war zone....as if a bomb had dropped - vaguely akin to the photos of Hiroshima. Burned out abandoned cars littered the streets right where people left them as the  firestorm closed in faster than they could escape. You could see occasional wisps of smoke circling up out of the piles of debris. Skeletal remains of blackened trees covered the hillsides. Grey ash blanketed the whole area. I couldn't even recognize the street to find what used to be my friend's place. A lonely Red Cross worker tried to give me a cup of coffee. There was no one left in the area to serve. 30% of the burned out houses were never rebuilt.

By this time I was thinking that the East Bay San Francisco might not be a great place to live, as far as natural disasters go.

The four years on the L&D unit in California was the longest I had stayed anywhere in any specialty area. Another two years later I had a job offer in a hospital in Canada, and I sold my house, packed up my things and headed north.

Time to go home.

1 comments:

Crazed Mom said...

I remember that fire. My older bro was living in Oakland at the time. I think my oldest was still an infant so we were living in the OC. My last year in California.

I do not miss the Santa Ana winds at all. Or the fires, or the heat, or the earthquakes.......

June 16, 2010 12:49 PM  

California Freezing....

Road to Reno!

"Weather chat" is an important component of the Canadian vocabulary.

If you have ever met a Canadian, the premier subject of discourse is always *The Weather*. You will notice most conversations will begin with that All Consuming Topic.

Being from a Northern population where the Extremes of weather is a way of life, be it the snow and cold of Winter, the fragrant essence and color of Fall, the welcome warmth and fun of Summer or the fragrant flowery promise of Spring - Weather is always paramount in everyone's thoughts - probably because of the effect it has on our lives and how it guides what we do. It is part of our Identity as a nation.


I noticed that the South African FIFA games are being threatened with the possibility of snow and this took me back to my time in California. Have I said before that the worst snowstorm I have ever driven in (and this includes Canadian snowstorms) was in Northern California on the I-5 on my way home to Canada? Oh ya, I did...but for those who don't want to read back..... By the time I hit Weed,CA - the snow was up to the window of my little Mercedes convertible. I turned around and went back.

Well.

Between the Big Earthquake of 1989 and the Oakland/Berkeley Fire of 1991 was the Big Freeze of 1990. The temperature plummeted to sub-zero temperatures for two weeks.....and to me, being a good Northern gal, I could see what needed to be done.

While shopping for real estate, I had noticed a major "problem" with a lot of the houses and buildings in the San Francisco Bay Area. I was shocked to find the house I bought had absolutely no insulation. I suppose people weren't as conservation-minded when the structure was built in 1955.

At that time, everyone figured electricity and heat sources were expendable. Never mind THAT was bad enough, it was the norm to see all kinds of exposed pipes and plumbing of water sources running above ground beside houses and on rooftops of large buildings.

The first thing I did when I bought my new house was insulate the attic and wrap all outdoor exposed pipes. My friends laughed at me as I meticulously enveloped every single outdoor pipe in styrofoam tubes and covered every faucet on the side of my house. "But this is California" they tried to reassure me and talk me out of the necessity for such actions - but Canadian winter experiences guided my strong resistance to conform.

That winter the Big Freeze descended on East Bay San Francisco. All the Oleanders in the divide of the 680 froze and died. Expanses of vinyards froze - decimating the following year's crops. Eighty-five percent of the California Navel Orange crop was destroyed.

Even worse, everyone's pipes were freezing.

I advised my colleagues at work to keep their taps running slightly to avoid this, but sadly to say they refused to follow direction, arguing that this would be wasteful of water as California was in it's fifth year of a severe drought.

As a result, even more water was lost when pipes started bursting with the freeze. Water poured into buildings from the pipes on rooftops as daytime temperatures thawed slightly. Thousands of outside taps and exposed pipes spewed gallons of the precious water before they could be repaired. Contents of buildings were flooded.

Overwhelmed plumbers couldn't keep up with the repairs and damaging water flowed freely. People had to live without water because of the delay of pipe replacement. To make matters worse, no one seemed to learn - no sooner were pipes replaced, but they froze again - with the same devastating results.

My Canadian sensibility spared my pipes, I am glad to say.

Unfortunately, the Big Freeze was to play an even more devastating part in another Horrible Disaster.....to come.......

NURSE

VANISHING TWIN SYNDROME

Some days just don't go the way I want them to.

Sometimes I just want to retire.

Sometimes I wish I were younger, prettier, smarter, popular, or wealthier.

Sometimes life just sucks.

Then I meet someone who really has a reason to wish for different circumstances - and I change my mind and am grateful for what I do have.

It really does adjust one's perspective on life.

 Which reminds me of another remarkable story:
There was a really amazingly cool couple that were so in love.

He had a birth defect similar to the Aussie above and despite that, was very athletic. She was a brilliant and drop-dead gorgeous young woman. They serendipitously met while attending University. He never let the fact that he had a "disability" ever interfere with anything, including the pursuit of this beautiful woman.

He won her heart. He had no qualms about getting married and the ensuing accoutrements of domesticated life, but, when it came to children - that was a "whole nuther ball of wax". The Geneticists couldn't tell them for sure that his "birth defect" wasn't hereditary. There was no guarantee that his children wouldn't be perfect...but he figured - is there for any child?

So many questions.

He thought - what would have happened if his own parents thought twice about having him? And - how would his child react to him for making this decision? Better yet, how would he react to the child if he/she had a defect, knowing the difficult road this child would have - having been there himself? Would he want to relive that pain all over again through his own child..... ?

A decision was made to conceive. No matter the outcome - they would have and love this child.

An amniocentesis had been done to inform and prepare the parents of and for any defects, and subsequent ultrasounds to reassure the parents of the well-being of their little one. They had no qualms about accepting this baby - no matter what. In the course of tests it was discovered the child - a boy - did have what they determined to be a cleft lip- or a slight "cupid's bow" - not an insurmountable "problem" - one that would be easily corrected.

They were over the moon.

So, they prepared the baby's room painting everything in blue. They decorated with little baby boy things and little manly items and even monogrammed the chosen boy's name on EVERYTHING. This was going to be one special, much loved, little guy.

I happened to be the RN on when the couple came in - the wife in labor.

The Labor progressed very well and in that delivery room, the family circle almost complete - the much cherished babe was born.

They were expecting a cleft lip - but they weren't counting on the HUGE "birth defect" that materialized.

Everyone gasped.

They couldn't help themselves.

It was a total shock when the announcement was made.............


"It's a GIRL!!!!!"

What....... happened?

There is this little-known-thing that can occur in a pregnancy. It's called "The Vanishing Twin Syndrome". When the amnio was done, what they missed was the fact that there were actually twins - not just a singleton. During the amnio, only the fluid from the male amniotic sac was drawn. Because the doctors did not visualize the other twin, they didn't pull a sampling of fluid from the female twin. Then, for some unknown reason, the male fetus did not survive and was reabsorbed by either the twin, the placenta or the mother's body.

This phenomenon occurs more often than people think. It is suspected that 1 out of 8 people started out as a twin. Some estimates are even higher than that, but we will never find out, because some woman have VTS and never know it. Usually it is the male fetus that dies and the female that survives.

Because this couple's early amnio (15 to 16 wks) already determined the sex (an amnio is definitive when it comes to identifying sex) no one thought to look closely at the baby's sex organs during subsequent ultrasounds. They were less concerned about that "defect" - than any others that might appear.

I asked them if they were going to keep the boy's name anyway, since it was a name that could be interchangeable - female or male. They laughed. No - she would get her own name - and the room - another coat of paint!

What a positive experience...... and an amazing family. I often think of them, and pull out his published autobiography he signed and gave to me as a gift. "Thanks for all your help! We needed it!" - he wrote above his name.

Something tells me they didn't.


Meanwhile, that video of that Aussie that someone sent in my email was a great reminder of that wonderful family years ago ......and also that - Life is What you Make It.

******************************************

"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy." --Albert Clarke