You've met the type.
She also has a memory like an elephant and remembers everything - and I mean everything - in minute detail - and will make sure she imparts each to you.
But - she is my dad's sister-in-law so he has to put up with it, albeit grudgingly. I don't mind her so much, but usually after the first 5 minutes dad toodles off into another room until the visit is over. Whenever I am in town, she feels she has to make the pilgrimage to say hello.
Why?
Well, funny you should ask.
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| Similar catamaran |
It was a beautiful ceremony, and to thank the 13 people that took the time, effort and expense to attend, she and her new husband decided to charter a huge catamaran.
One hour into the day long trip we stopped near a coral reef to snorkel. My husband and I had brought along our own equipment, and looking at the ancient-looking stuff that was provided by the company - we were glad we did. Ours had the stopcocks so water wouldn't splash into our snorkels, and with the surface of the water slightly on the choppy side, that was a good thing.
Everyone grabbed their gear and jumped overboard once the required life preservers were belted on. Last minute, I decided against going. Really, I don't know why. I was geared up, ready to go.
I loved snorkeling and was looking forward to it. Yes, the water was a little rough, but I was a pretty good swimmer .... and it didn't look that bad. Still, something stopped me. My husband handed me his wedding ring and I slipped it on my thumb for safekeeping.
I hung over the bow and watched the little group swim away with Our Captain to the reef beyond. I wasn't paying attention to my aunt who was in the process of getting her life belt on, didn't notice she only put on one - which sat on her back like a tiny little fanny pack - and I didn't notice as she climbed down the rickety narrow ladder that was the only way in and out of the boat. I did note that there was no platform near the surface of the water on this catamaran.
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| Approximate size of Dolores |
Tired of watching the little bobbing heads off in the distance, I turned back to the cabin of the boat, looking forward to a little R&R .....when I glanced over to where my aunt had swum.
The day before I had saved her from near drowning - and I have proof by the way. My husband had been on the beach snapping photos as I floated around on my air mattress with the group and, unbeknownst to him, he caught the whole sequence - one frame at a time:
Big wave.
Me - surprised look....
Phyllis - going down....
Me- jumping up....
Phyllis - wiping the water out of her eyes with two of us at her elbows, holding her up.
One of the many big waves knocked her off balance - she lost her footing and then couldn't get up - because of her proportions.
Phyllis weighs at least 350lbs, and I am being VERY conservative.
Approximately 100 feet from the port side I could see Phyllis flapping her hands slightly on the surface and trying to lift her head out of the water.
Something wasn't right.
That uneasy feeling was confirmed when after a second or two I could no longer see any movement from her and she was laying like a starfish on the surface.
A little aside note here - those tv shows that show drowning people thrashing about?? Let me tell you - they don't. Usually they die very quietly, unnoticed.
I screamed to the Assistant Captain (AC) in charge of the boat - pointing - "She's drowning~~!!!!!"
I knew I wasn't a strong or fast enough swimmer to tow her back to the boat. A buoy on a rope was thrown out but of course, she was no longer aware enough to grab it.
I knew I wasn't a strong or fast enough swimmer to tow her back to the boat. A buoy on a rope was thrown out but of course, she was no longer aware enough to grab it.
The AC dove into the now increasingly choppy water and swam out to Phyllis and hauled her in with much difficulty - face down - the entire way.
Two of us tried to pull her the 8 or 9 feet up to the deck from the water's surface while her son-in-law tried to push her up. Limp. Dead weight. Literally.
Unfortunately for Phyllis, she had lathered herself with sunscreen lotion prior to her foray into the water. Slippery as hell. I could see that her lips were blue, her complexion, grey.
At this point Phyllis had not taken one breath since I saw her last hand motion on the surface. We grabbed the only thing that didn't slip out of our hands - her bathing suit straps and pulled.
I would never have believed how stretchy and strong Sears bathing suits were. I swear - those straps increased in length by at least a good two feet so that the scoop of the neck was well above her head.
"At least the waves can't splash into her face", I thought.
At this point my cousin swims up to the ladder.
"Mom! Mom! Oh I am so sorry - Mom!!!"
She looks straight into my eyes, pleading "Please - Someone - can you please help my Mom??!"
I had to jump in.
Wasn't wanting to, but there it is.
At some point, when all else fails, what choice does one have? As I jumped, I could see my husbands wedding ring slip off my thumb - tumble end over end slow motion - and splash into the sea below me just before I hit the surface.
"Shit", I thought. "Could it get any worse?"
Problem is, when you have a 350 lb dead weight that is as slick as a bar of wet soap in the shower......what do you do?
There was very little working room - only ONE person could be on the ladder - and to lift that much weight out of the water and up onto the boat - well, the task was near impossible.
Adding to the mayhem was the fact that the people pushing up from below had no leverage in the deep water - in addition to the lack of grip on the slick body from above.
In the middle of all this, I tried to buy some time and was able to attempt two rescue breaths. I pinched her earlobe to test for response.
HARD.
Nothing.
Not even a little bit of a wince. After that - the bathing suit scoop neckline was a good foot over head. "Just as well", I thought, "at least her daughter doesn't have to see her waxen/blue-grey face."
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| what I was visualizing... |
"Holy shit, how are we ever going get her back to shore if she drowns? Tie a rope around her and drag her back?"
At this point my imagination was running wild.
"And what will my cousin think .... bad enough her mother drowns on her wedding/honeymoon trip but even worse that she has to watch her being dragged by a rope behind the boat the HOUR it will take to get back to the dock if we can't lift her out of the water???
And - should we go slow??? Or fast - and risk her bouncing along on the waves like a fish on a line?"
I was frantically waving at my husband to come back to the boat.
We would need everyone on board so we can rush Phyllis to shore. Two ambulances were ready and waiting at two different docks - whichever one we could reach first.
An "ambulance zodiac" was also dispatched with a couple of paramedics aboard to meet us at the closest place possible - to board the boat and help with resuscitation - if it was going to be required. Oblivious to the drama going on, my husband waved back and went about his snorkeling.
While all this was going on, the AC had whistled for the Captain, a big burly good looking guy with rippling muscles and ebony skin. A powerhouse. He rounded up the group and everyone swam back, Captain way out in front.
In record time he leapt up onto the ladder and grabbed Phyllis and gave one giant yank.
I figured, at this point, we had one last chance to haul her up.
I was in the water - directly below Phyllis - her shadow blocking out the sun and casting a shadow almost bigger than the boat - as the Captain gave one. big. heave.
I was looking straight up at that big limp body.
Crap.
One slip and a ton of dead weight would drop right on my head and I would be dead in the water.
I winced, saying a prayer. One last desperate scramble by the men to hoist her up and over - and Phyllis was spilled onto the deck like a giant floppy octopus.
I scrambled up the ladder and quickly surveyed the situation.
I don't remember how they all got back up on the deck, but the rest of the snorkeling bunch were pressed against the far side of the boat, eyes like saucers.
No help there.
Kneeling down, I pushed on Phyllis' forehead with the palm of one hand, plugged the nose and lifted up her jaw with my left hand. My mouth sealed hers and I gave two puffs.
Nothing.
Two more puffs.
A little cough. The salty taste of blood and sea foam in my mouth.
Come on - breathe......!!!
Stertorous breathing.
Then. Phyllis' eyes fluttered.
Mumble.
"Phyllis! Phyllis!" I screamed into her ear. The pallor left her face but her lips were still a grayish shade.
"Take some deep breaths! Phyllis! Come on!!" More stimulation.
Then.
Normal rate but Shallow ... breathing.....
I pulled up her one knee and dug my knee into her back to roll her on her side, our Hero Captain pulling on her arm.
The crowd, once frozen, suddenly sprang to life and they handed over rolled towels to prop, bath sheet to cover and water so I could rinse out my mouth.
That salty, bloody taste stayed with me the rest of the day, no matter how much I rinsed and brushed my teeth.
"Hey Phyllis!" I couldn't resist. "Did ya see a tunnel and a bright light at the end of it????"
The Zodiac EMS*** met us halfway back to the dock and we briefly stopped to let them on board. I was never so glad to see anyone in my life. It's amazing what 15L of O2 will do to bluish lips.
* * * *
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| Antigua hospital in St John's where Dolores stayed overnight |
I heard from my Cuz that all her mother could do was complain about the dirty restroom, the old dilapidated facility and how awful and hot it was with no air conditioning.
Geez. You would think she would be grateful just to be breathing. But - At least she was talking.
I never thought I would ever be happy to hear her say anything.
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| All the excitement I really wanted... |
Yup.
She was nearly knocked over by the waves again.
I couldn't stay to watch. My husband and I washed our hands of her. She was on her own. We avoided her the rest of the trip.
I really don't think she realized how close she came to dying - because if she did, she would have never gone back in that water.
I swear, her apneic episode from start to finish was at least 15 minutes.
Fifteen minutes and not one breath.
Certainly she had no pain reflexes whatsoever. Yet, it seems, that not one brain cell was affected.
Me? I am just glad that we didn't have to haul her back behind the boat like some prize fish.
Unfortunately, what comes with "the rescue" is suffering the long visits that she feels she has to make every time I come home.
*sigh*
**Not her real name to save her from embarrassment
***Emergency Medical Services
Posted by A NURSE at 6:06 PM
4 comments rescued:
nurseXY said...
Holy crap!!
:O
May 23, 2010 8:10 PM
A NURSE said...
Funny thing NXY...that's exactly what I said..... =^@
May 23, 2010 11:00 PM
Albinoblackbear said...
That is a giant HOLY CRAP.
And the reason I pack a barrier device with me everywhere I go!
I don't want to aspirate on someone else's aspirate. :P
Nice work!!!
May 24, 2010 12:14 PM
A NURSE said...
Thanks ABB! :)
I should be smart about carrying a barrier device...even tho I pretty well am sure of her hx....ya just never know what evil lurks....
Should I say, "I remember the days when...?".......we didn't have any devices even within the hospital? :^P
(some of my earlier blogs cover that... !)
May 24, 2010 12:52 PM
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