VANISHING TWIN SYNDROME

Some days just don't go the way I want them to.

Sometimes I just want to retire.

Sometimes I wish I were younger, prettier, smarter, popular, or wealthier.

Sometimes life just sucks.

Then I meet someone who really has a reason to wish for different circumstances - and I change my mind and am grateful for what I do have.

It really does adjust one's perspective on life.

 Which reminds me of another remarkable story:
There was a really amazingly cool couple that were so in love.

He had a birth defect similar to the Aussie above and despite that, was very athletic. She was a brilliant and drop-dead gorgeous young woman. They serendipitously met while attending University. He never let the fact that he had a "disability" ever interfere with anything, including the pursuit of this beautiful woman.

He won her heart. He had no qualms about getting married and the ensuing accoutrements of domesticated life, but, when it came to children - that was a "whole nuther ball of wax". The Geneticists couldn't tell them for sure that his "birth defect" wasn't hereditary. There was no guarantee that his children wouldn't be perfect...but he figured - is there for any child?

So many questions.

He thought - what would have happened if his own parents thought twice about having him? And - how would his child react to him for making this decision? Better yet, how would he react to the child if he/she had a defect, knowing the difficult road this child would have - having been there himself? Would he want to relive that pain all over again through his own child..... ?

A decision was made to conceive. No matter the outcome - they would have and love this child.

An amniocentesis had been done to inform and prepare the parents of and for any defects, and subsequent ultrasounds to reassure the parents of the well-being of their little one. They had no qualms about accepting this baby - no matter what. In the course of tests it was discovered the child - a boy - did have what they determined to be a cleft lip- or a slight "cupid's bow" - not an insurmountable "problem" - one that would be easily corrected.

They were over the moon.

So, they prepared the baby's room painting everything in blue. They decorated with little baby boy things and little manly items and even monogrammed the chosen boy's name on EVERYTHING. This was going to be one special, much loved, little guy.

I happened to be the RN on when the couple came in - the wife in labor.

The Labor progressed very well and in that delivery room, the family circle almost complete - the much cherished babe was born.

They were expecting a cleft lip - but they weren't counting on the HUGE "birth defect" that materialized.

Everyone gasped.

They couldn't help themselves.

It was a total shock when the announcement was made.............


"It's a GIRL!!!!!"

What....... happened?

There is this little-known-thing that can occur in a pregnancy. It's called "The Vanishing Twin Syndrome". When the amnio was done, what they missed was the fact that there were actually twins - not just a singleton. During the amnio, only the fluid from the male amniotic sac was drawn. Because the doctors did not visualize the other twin, they didn't pull a sampling of fluid from the female twin. Then, for some unknown reason, the male fetus did not survive and was reabsorbed by either the twin, the placenta or the mother's body.

This phenomenon occurs more often than people think. It is suspected that 1 out of 8 people started out as a twin. Some estimates are even higher than that, but we will never find out, because some woman have VTS and never know it. Usually it is the male fetus that dies and the female that survives.

Because this couple's early amnio (15 to 16 wks) already determined the sex (an amnio is definitive when it comes to identifying sex) no one thought to look closely at the baby's sex organs during subsequent ultrasounds. They were less concerned about that "defect" - than any others that might appear.

I asked them if they were going to keep the boy's name anyway, since it was a name that could be interchangeable - female or male. They laughed. No - she would get her own name - and the room - another coat of paint!

What a positive experience...... and an amazing family. I often think of them, and pull out his published autobiography he signed and gave to me as a gift. "Thanks for all your help! We needed it!" - he wrote above his name.

Something tells me they didn't.


Meanwhile, that video of that Aussie that someone sent in my email was a great reminder of that wonderful family years ago ......and also that - Life is What you Make It.

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"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy." --Albert Clarke