Nurse, Call Thyself Patient #2 1986

Some say it is an advantage to "know the system". Yes, well, I must admit if you have inside information, it can give you a "leg up"- so to speak. But, sometimes, believe it or not, it does have its drawbacks.

Stupid me, but I worry about blood exposure when I go to my dentist. I scream and back off when I see blood in public. Doorknobs and public bathrooms gross me out.

And, yes, knowledge can be an advantage...in other words, I know that every fever doesn't require a MD visit and I know at what point I should have a wound or abdominal pain looked at.

Knowing stuff like that is useful when I can't get a family MD in my own community...and it saves me a trip to the hospital.... But sometimes it isn't. I cringe when I think of the time I was a patient in the hospital I was born in, and later worked in....

If you ever get to look after a Nurse, don't assume she/he knows everything. We don't and can't.

But, as Nurses, we try to save face and perhaps pretend to know what is going on.

Ok - we might know a lot of what is going on, but as a patient, it is easy to lose perspective of what is going on with one's own body. That goes for MDs too. They might know some things but they aren't nurses, and patient care on a unit is not something they are versed in.

Also, the way your hospital does something, isn't necessarily the way another hospital does something. I have worked in 5 different American Hospitals and 7 different Canadian Hospitals over the years, and believe me, there is more than one way to skin a cat. *apology here to my 3 cats*

Having had a fairly long nursing career, I can safely say that through the years - things change!

Ongoing research through the years - and months! - changes what we know and how we treat illnesses and recover patients. If you have read some of my previous blogs, you have already noted the differences between now and "back then".

Gone are the days of post op baths (yay) - you are lucky to get a "lick and a promise" and that is only if you had something done in "that" area, or soiled yourself- and only if you can't do it yourself. Gone are the days when you were on bed rest for weeks on end.... and so on.

You get my drift.

Things change, and sometimes quickly - so never assume anyone knows anything.

Ok. Having said that...there are always nurses like me that feel they shouldn't burden the nurses on the unit at all, and try to do everything myself, no matter how impossible.

The anesthesiologist visited the night before - to explain everything (no daycare admit- you actually were admitted to the ward you would be in post op!). Of course I had to tell him that I really don't react very well to anesthesia (who does?) and I told him I hoped he was good at what he does.

"Are you asking me this because I am younger - you don't trust me?" he asked. "Heck, no" I replied "I don't care WHO you are - I just don't want to wake up dead...if I am not in control...it scares me..."

Premonition of things to come.


Post op, I was wheeled back to my semi private room, absolutely no recollection whatsoever of the trip or the transfer.

Not five minutes later, I come to completely, and feel I am good enough to wander down to the desk and ask for something for pain.

Didn't want to be that patient that bothers the nurses by using the call bell for something I felt I could do myself.

I scoot myself to the foot of the bed and lean over the end so I could roll up the head of my bed (ya - that long ago - not electric! It was also a very old hospital.) then proceed to crawl over the end of the bed (so much for the raised side rails) which was no small feat ( they left the bed in the highest position)... got dressed in my own jammies ( even threaded my IV bag through the arm) made my bed (!) and dragged my IV pole and myself down to the nursing station.

I can already hear what you are thinking, and I am ok with that.... I even hate patients like me.

Of course the nurses were shocked - " you weren't even conscious 5 minutes ago when they brought you from PAR!" (I am sure that I was at least extubated before my ride back to my room) I reassured them that I was "just fine".

Their phone rang and it was my nurse girlfriend wanting to talk to me - to see if I had survived surgery. The RNs handed me the phone at the desk - THEN - mid sentence .....that horrible wave of overwhelming nausea. Without thought to the IV or lines, I dropped the phone and ran for the garbage can in the utility room...

Well, lets just say the nurses were none too happy - the post op abx flipped out of its port (not the needleless system) and squirted its contents all over like a loose garden hose...IV pole swung dangerously at a 45 degree angle before settling upright.

Total Embarrassment. If they didn't scold me, I certainly deserved it.

I didn't only have a T&A, I also had a "repair of deviated septum" (cast on my nose) and so not only did I have a sore throat, but a headache from the swelling in the sinus area. This pain caused a lot of nausea,but it would only happen at certain times... and I learned that if I got the gravol in time (Dramamine for you American nurses !) - no nausea.

Now, I have already admitted to my needle phobia. I have no fear if the needle is heading away from me into someone else.

BUT.

I will do anything to avoid a puncture of my own. Even to the point of appearing obnoxious.

So, the next day - I asked the nurse on duty - "hey, do you mind getting me a p.o. (by mouth) gravol instead of a shot?"

I tried to explain to her that if we could just do preventative medicine - I could nip it in the bud...and avoid nausea and a needle. (Besides, the nurse the pm before had given me a tab instead of shot when I asked, so why shouldn't she?)

Keep in mind this is not the era of Pyxis drug dispensing, and in my world of nursing at the time- not a complicated request for a patient to make.

"Nope" - she said - "the doc only ordered it IM. Can't give you a pill form" WTFlip? That's news to me. Where ever I have EVER worked, gravol was ordered IM/PO/IV - whatever - pick your poison.

Heck, we were known to give a little bit of "preventative nausea therapy" at bedtime for those post op insomniac patients denied sleeping meds. Couldn't she just give me a pill anyway??? It isn't like I was asking for a narcotic for gosh sakes - just an OTC.

"Nope - not without a MD order". Adamant.

"Well, can't you call the MD and ask?" After all, it is daytime - not the middle of the night...and anyway, smart MDs leave orders and let the RNs use discretion...so he deserves and should appreciate a daytime call.

And I did say Please.

"Nope" Ya, just my luck, I get the OCD nurse.

I decide that next time I am bringing my own stash of gravol pills. And hiding them.

Next problem came up on the second day.

Did I mention that every once in a blue moon I have these apneic spells where I can't breathe?

First time this happened, I lived alone and was sitting up in bed - and suddenly, I couldn't take a breath in...no matter how much I tried. I started making this horrible stridor sound.....I grabbed the phone next to me and started dialling 911 - then stopped.

My thoughts ran like this: "Ok, I can't breathe, so I call 911 and oh, say, 20 minutes have passed and I live in an apartment with a door buzzer that I can't answer and a door with a really strong bolt...never mind I would be unconscious or dead when and IF anyone arrives. At the very least, I would be brain dead."

I put the phone down.

Whats the point? Eventually, after about 5 minutes, i could gasp a few breaths....i was fully recovered within 10 minutes, but - what a frightening feeling!
I can safely say, "not being able to breathe" is the worst possible thing one could ever experience.

So, to get back the story:


OK, so the second day, middle of the night, I have one of these apneic spells.

Wakes me from a dead sleep. Scares the heck out of me.

But, at least now I know eventually I might be able to get breathing again...on my own. But, just in case, I grab the call bell - thumb poised and ready.....

and I start to go into the stridor stage.

I hear nurses running down the hall into the next room to me. I guess they were following that stridor sound to where they thought - logically - it might be coming from.

Did I tell you there was a guy with a trach in the next room?

Ya, you guessed it. The nurses ran to the obvious and woke up some poor startled schmuck having a nice little snooze. You would not believe the harsh dressing down I got!

Hey - it's not like I did it on purpose, you know............

On my last day...I finally was drinking well....and wanting to escape before any more embarrassing incidents occurred...I thought....ok, let's lose this IV already.....so I asked the nurse on duty...."Hey, do you mind taking this out? I really don't need this anymore...honest, I am not nauseated and I am drinking!" Proud of myself.

"Nope (same OCD nurse)...we will wait until the whole bag goes through"...apparently when my eyes were shut, she had hung a brand new IV bag and now she didn't want to waste it. WTFlip?

Needless to say, I clandestinely shut off my own IV, d/c'd it when I could dig up a bandage and signed my discharge papers at the desk.

I had to get out of there.

I am getting chest pains just thinking about that whole incident....... ;)