Of Knitting Needles and Bears

We get home from camping and there's a message from my mom on my phone.

"This is your mother calling....give me a call....I need to ask you something..."

Sounds serious.

The message was left on Friday - and here it is Sunday night. 

I tried to brush off the panic.  Wouldn't she have emailed me if it were important??

I give her a call.

"Hey mom, what's up?"

Apparently when she sat down on the couch, she forgot she tucked her knitting needles in between the seat cushion and the arm of the couch - sharp ends sticking up.

this is the way they should have
been stuck into the couch...

Seems she impaled her arm with a knitting needle.*  Needless to say it bled profusely.   

After she described the injury to me - "It went in about two inches"....she tried to reassure me, "Don't worry, I took care of it....I took a couple pills from the dentist -  and it's not bleeding anymore."

So now I am curious.  "What pills?" I ask. 

Do I really want to know???

"Oh, it's just some pills the dentist gave me when I was going to get my teeth done"

"What? Did you just have something done at the dentist?"

"Well, no, I cancelled the dentist, but he had given me some antibiotics because of my hip replacement - I was supposed to take before the procedure - and after"

"Don't tell me you took the antibiotics"

"No....I didn't ....I only took two..."

"MOM! That's even worse....you never ever take antibiotics unless you take the whole course of it.  And you don't take them unless your doc says to. That's how we get our superbugs....Never mind now you don't have enough antibiotics now for when you have your dental procedure...."

*sigh*

I know I have preached the antibiotics sermon to my entire family....how could this have happened???

Mom and Dad insist on living in the middle of nowhere....too far away from any of our family to go and save them from themselves.

While I am thinking that perhaps they are soon in need of closer supervision ....mom is yelling at dad in the background...."Bill, come quick! The bear is back!! Come look!!"

they can wreck your house
in less than a minute...

To me, she says " There's a small bear at our sliding glass door!"

Back to dad - "Bill! close that door!"

Right about now I am picturing a bear being let into the house, mauling my parents.

Me: "Mom, for Pete's sake, tell dad to keep the door closed.  What the.....  don't you know how dangerous those bears are???"

Mom: "Well that second one is a baby...."

Me: "Mom!!!! The babies are dangerous!! SCARE THEM OFF!!! With noise!!! LOTS of noise!!!  The mother will get angry if she sees you - and then you're toast.... there isn't any window or sliding glass door that is going to stop her....!!!!!"

Mom: "Oh no....they don't bother us....they just come and visit the compost...and the bird feeders...and leave paw prints on the windows...."

Me: "Oh for cripes sake....geezzzz mom....you know you shouldn't compost so close to the house if at all!!! That's rule number ONE!!!  No wonder they come around all the time!!! And take down those feeders!!!! Or at least move them away from the window....!"

Mom: "OK....I gotta go....[Bill! Close that door~!!] Gotta go! Bye..."

Me: "But....MOM!!!!....wait...."

*click*  Mom hangs up.

Honestly. 

I am so stressed, I think I need a propanolol.

More chest pains.

*sigh*

No point in worrying.  By the time I drive up there to their place, they'd be some bear's lunch.

Can't think about it.

It's like having kids.

Unfortunately, I never had kids....so it's all new territory to me.

Sad really.

Funny how things flip.

Mom and Dad used to be the one telling me what to do.....but, only difference is.....

I used to listen.

this is what I think of those bears... cute my butt!
"Knitting needles"

*No, mom wasn't up to date with her tetanus either. I sent her for follow-up with her MD.....if she listened to me.....