the IF project....if only......

I have mentioned previously that I had worked in a prison as an RN for a period of time.  I was working with male patients - the worst of the worst, if you get my drift.

I have worked inside those double barbed wire walls of prison with very little protection than a Personal Protection Alarm....and dozens of male prisoners out of their cells and all around me.....

So I am telling you from experience that I am not naive or oblivious to the manipulations and the emotional immaturity in these places.

Prior to my stint as a prison nurse, when I worked in Labor Delivery, we occasionally had an incarcerated patient accompanied by a guard escort.

Photo credit: here for an interesting
article on shackles in L&D

It also wasn't uncommon to be caring for a pregnant woman off the streets, trying to shake their drug addiction -  and on methadone.

My heart went out to these women.

What was it that led to their present situation? I always wondered.

One time - I did ask.

Along with my other new moms, I was assigned a prisoner transferred from the local lockup, admitted for preterm labour.

A quiet withdrawn little thing, she presented as a tiny pathetic figure almost lost in the mountain of covers on her bed.

On one of my patient rounds I rescued a small bunch of flowers that another discharged patient had left behind.  It would have gone in the garbage had I not salvaged it - and I hate waste. 

I picked out the dead and wilted flowers and brought the little freshened-up bouquet into her room.  Placing it on the windowsill where she could see it, I told her that I would leave them for her to enjoy.

The guard glared at me - but my patient was transformed.

Tears in her eyes,  she thanked me profusely - and unnecessarily - for such a small and insignificant gesture.

It was later on during my night shift that she told me  her story:


Her early married life started out as most....very happy,  living an average life in an average family neighborhood doing what most young mothers and wives do. 

Tragically, her husband died and she was left coping with two young children on her own, a mountain of bills to pay - and no job experience.  

She was at a loss to find a way to provide for her children.   At this point, welfare was not an option.  She was too proud to take handouts.

The money she earned at a minimum wage job couldn't pay the bills.  She wrote a couple of bad cheques and ended up in the court system. 

From there it went from bad to worse.   She lost her house.  

To deal with her depression  over her hopeless situation, she turned to alcohol. 

She was involved in an MVA and thereafter became dependent on pain medications prescribed by her MD.  She couldn't afford to drive and couldn't get to any job that would even look at her for employment now she had a record.

The social system took away her children when she became involved with unsavory persons who provided her with living quarters -  the only place she could afford after being turned down by a series of landlords.

Increasingly addicted, one day she changed her prescription for pain medications and was caught by the pharmacy - and the law. 

She went back to court - and then lockup -  and thereafter,  her life became stuck in the revolving door of prison.  

When I met her she was pregnant by an unknown father while prostituting.

Even if only part of her story is true.....how tragic!

Sometimes we look down at these people, thinking how much superior we are....forgetting that but for the grace of God.......

Are these people salvageable?

Statistics are not on their side but as a society, we are behoven to try.

Recently,  girlfriend that works in a different area of the penal system sent me this link:

The If Project:  Essays from women from Washington State Correction State Center for Women.

Over 240 essays written by the women at this prison when they were asked :

 “If there was something someone could have said or done that would have changed the path that led you here, what would it have been?”

The hope was to find out tangible things they could do or say as officers working on the street that could actually work to change a young person's direction in life before it was too late.

If you choose not to click on any of the links above,  please, at least  take a moment to watch this short video and let the women speak for themselves:


The If Project Trailer from The If Project on Vimeo.


I wonder how many of these women, if shown discipline and love... would have ended up in a different place?

This following video is worth a repost:

Can't Change the World....sung by a First Nations gal that was a foster child until a family took her in and cared for her ....and her life was so totally different than it could have been: